Our Relationship with Food and Holiday Indulgences
Whether good, bad or somewhere in the middle, we all have a relationship with food — and food-focused holidays like Thanksgiving can bring them to the forefront, along with unhealthy behaviors we may have in response.
"Complicated relationships (around food) are much more heightened during times like this, where we're celebrating something that revolves culturally around food," says Amanda Holtzer, a registered dietician based in New Jersey. "That can really trigger a lot of potentially negative emotions in people with negative or complicated relationships with food."
Because of diet culture and the pressures and messaging that comes with it, it came be easy to fixate on what we think we should or shouldn't add to our plates. But Holtzer says indulging in a holiday meal like this isn't going to have a major impact on your body or your health.
"It is absolutely no big deal," she says. "I can promise one day of more indulgent eating is not going to result in lasting weight gain (or) derail any progress that you've made."
There are, however, unhealthy behaviors that are common around this time of year that may fall into the category of disordered eating.
According to Dr. Samantha DeCaro, director of clinical outreach and education at The Renfrew Center, disordered eating exists on a spectrum and is not always associated with a diagnosed eating disorder. She explains that while clinical eating disorders are on one end of the spectrum, there are also individuals who have a healthy relationship with food and their body on the other end. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.
Dr. DeCaro emphasizes that disordered behaviors, such as restricting food, binging, purging, and over-exercise, can be present even without a formal eating disorder diagnosis. She states, "You don't really have to have an eating disorder to maybe struggle with some of these issues."
Unhealthy behaviors around eating
Restriction: Many people engage in food restriction as a way to "save up" for a big holiday meal. However, according to Holtzer, this often backfires. Skipping meals or restricting food earlier in the day can lead to excessive hunger, causing individuals to overeat.
Dr. DeCaro adds that these unhealthy patterns may be normalized or mistakenly considered healthy, which can be confusing for individuals.
"A lot of these behaviors, not only are they disordered, but they can fuel the cycle of a full-blown eating disorder," she says. "For example, most people are very surprised to learn that restricting is actually one of the things that can fuel binge-eating disorder. Because when you're skipping meals, or you're denying yourself food when you're hungry, it can set you up to engage in a binge-eating episode because you're in a state of scarcity, whether it's physical or psychological scarcity."
So no matter what you're going to be eating at your Thanksgiving meal, Holtzer recommends eating a high protein breakfast as well as lunch or a snack if you're not having dinner until later in the day.
"I never want anyone to not eat or restrict in order to save up or compensate for what they're going to be doing later on," she says.
Demonizing foods: Viewing certain foods as "good" and others as "bad" is a mindset we want to shift away from, Holtzer says.
"Food does not have morality, and it shouldn't evoke any feelings of shame or fear, just like it shouldn't evoke any feelings of pride."
And while she recognizes food is more than just fuel — Thanksgiving highlights how food is also about tradition, family and culture — it's not meant to have an "emotional bearing on us" in this way, she says.
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"We don't want to attach such strong emotion to food because, at the end of the day, that's not the role that food is supposed to play in our lives," she says.
Body and plate comments: Another behavior to avoid at the holiday gathering? Comments about another person's body or the food on their plate, which can negatively affect others no matter how well-intentioned.
"You might want to instinctively give a compliment about someone's appearance, and there's even a risk in that because when the first thing you do is compliment how good someone looks, you're reinforcing the idea that their appearance and their body is important to you," DeCaro says.
Instead, she encourages people to shift the focus away from appearance and toward how you feel when you see that person — for example, "I'm so happy to see you! How have you been?"
Even comments about yourself — "I'm going to need to go on a diet after this," for example — are better avoided.
"We really want to steer away from any comments that would induce any kind of guilt or anxiety about eating food," DeCaro explains.
Holtzer also encourages her patients to shift away from diet or body language, but knows we can't control what other people say.
When faced with someone making negative comments about body image or eating habits, it is important to establish boundaries or redirect the conversation, according to experts.
For instance, if someone mentions starting a new keto diet, instead of engaging in diet talk, try changing the subject to something else like asking about their family or other interests. It is crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and do what feels comfortable for you.
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating concerns, you can reach out to the National Eating Disorders Association's toll-free and confidential helpline for support. They are available by phone or text at 1-800-931-2237 or through their click-to-chat message service at nationaleatingdisorders.org/helpline. In crisis situations, you can also text "NEDA" to 741-741 for 24/7 assistance.
