On August 7, 2020, Kowal's daughter, Kelly Gowe, received a troubling voicemail from a federal investigator regarding her mother's potential involvement in a fraud scam as a victim.
The events that unfolded after this revelation were both shocking and heartbreaking, shedding light on the dangers of online relationships and the importance of staying vigilant in the digital age.
Upon learning that she would have a daughter of her own, Gowe realized that one day her daughter would need to know the complete story. Gowe expressed to CBS News that she wants her daughter to understand that her grandmother's story has the power to educate and bring about change, potentially even saving someone's life in the process.
"No one is immune"
Kowal's experience is unfortunately not an isolated case. Last year, more than $1.14 billion was taken from over 64,000 Americans by romance scammers, as reported by the Federal Trade Commission. Experts believe this number is likely much higher due to unreported cases.
"Victims should never feel ashamed or embarrassed," stated Rao. "These scammers are highly skilled individuals who prey on people's need for love and connection, using sophisticated tactics to manipulate their victims."
Utilizing advanced technology, scammers can create deep emotional bonds with their targets. For instance, "Sue," a retiree, shared her story of losing her home and almost $2.5 million to an individual she met on Match.com.
Speaking to CBS under a pseudonym, "Sue" revealed her ongoing fear of being monitored, referring to it as "the sucker list." She described the ordeal as a form of "psychological manipulation" disguised as a romantic tale.
"I had a video call with him. I never thought that it was possible to fake a video call," Sue shared. "People wonder, how could you trust a stranger? But he didn't feel like a stranger at that moment."
Rao mentioned that law enforcement has been working to dispel the misconception that victims of romance scams should have been more cautious. The victims come from various demographics — with men accounting for about 40% of victims, and individuals of all ages and backgrounds falling prey to these scams.
"We have witnessed even highly skilled individuals falling victim to these scams," Rao explained. "We have seen cases where professionals like doctors and bank analysts, who deal with such issues at work, have been targeted. It can happen to anyone."
"Living a secret life"
Kelly Gowe's mission began right after she rushed from Chicago to her mother's house, three hours away, only to find it deserted.
"I just had a feeling, a strong intuition," she recalled.
Kowal had plans to have lunch with her neighbor, Kathy, that day but abruptly canceled just 10 minutes before they were supposed to meet. Kathy remembered seeing her in the driveway talking on the phone.
"We had our doubts about Frank from the start," Kathy said. "But you had to know Laura. She was such a resilient woman."
Gowe made a startling discovery while searching through her mother's house. Tucked away in a filing cabinet, she found an undated note addressed to her. The note revealed a shocking secret - her mother had been living a double life for the past year, which had left her both broke and broken. The note implicated a man named Frank, whom her mother had met through online dating. Despite numerous attempts to end the dangerous situation, her mother feared the worst.
Among the revelations in the note were instructions on how to access her mother's emails, shedding light on the extent of the deception.
Origins of the Double Life
Following the death of her husband from cancer, Kowal relocated from Chicago to Galena, a picturesque town in northwest Illinois known for its scenic views of the Mississippi River and historic sites like the former home of Ulysses S. Grant.
Embracing her new surroundings, she built a vibrant social life, engaging in activities like golf, working at a boutique, and visiting senior centers with her beloved poodle, Effie.
"My mom had so many facets to her life. But there was this one missing piece," Gowe reflected. "She longed for companionship."
In 2018, seeking to fill that void, she turned to online dating via Match.com. Opting for the virtual route, a choice made by 3 in 10 Americans, she believed it offered a safer alternative to traditional methods of meeting potential partners.
Meet "Frank Borg," a self-proclaimed entrepreneur who insisted he was born in Sweden but had American roots, whom she encountered on the dating platform. Frank's profile picture displayed a lean man in a natural setting, sporting an angular face and salt-and-pepper hair, exuding a mature and healthy vibe. He alleged connections to Iowa, mirroring Kowal's background; the experience of losing a spouse, similar to Kowal's situation; and having a sole adult child, just like Kowal. After a brief period on the site, they progressed to exchanging emails.
"I'm also a novice in the realm of online dating," he disclosed to Laura in his initial email. "I pride myself on being honest and compassionate, especially towards those I hold dear."
The next day, they swapped phone numbers. "I hope we can always converse over the phone and appreciate each other's voices," he expressed to her.
During the subsequent 10 days, they shared anecdotes, and Kowal started confiding in him. "I'm putting all my trust in you. Trust is a huge deal for me," Kowal conveyed.
It took a total of 12 days to progress from that initial email to Kowal reciprocating his affections. "My heart is yours!" she penned, concluding with, "Love you, Frank! You're in my heart forever!"
"Undoubtedly, my mother experienced the emotions of being loved," Gowe remarked. "And I'm aware that many are questioning, 'How could this happen?' It's a scenario that could unfold for anyone."
An alarming surge in fraudulent activities
Kowal's foray into an online romance coincided with a significant uptick in scam operations observed by federal law enforcement authorities on dating platforms and social networks.
"We see from 2017 to 2023 is when we had a sharp increase in romance frauds," said James C. Barnacle, Jr. who oversees the financial crimes section of the FBI. "Prior to 2017 we didn't have a significant number of romance fraud complaints in the United States."
Experts attribute the rise to better technology in hotspots for fraud, like Nigeria and Ghana, and an easier path to moving money electronically. Romance scams had evolved since the days of "Nigerian prince" letters and money wired through Western Union, Barnacle said.
Mark Solomon, president of the International Association of Financial Crime Investigators, said fraudsters had educated themselves. They began sharing scripts and techniques on the dark web and social media sites and Telegram.
"There's playbooks out there," Solomon said. "How to commit this crime from A to Z."
Solomon said law enforcement was caught flat-footed.
"Law enforcement is a little bit behind," Solomon said. "We have to train more local detectives and investigators, more state, more federal [agents]."
"No other choice"
When local police began investigating Kowal's disappearance, their missing person alert identified her as being suicidal. It was a misunderstanding, Gowe says, forged in the panicked first hours after her mother had vanished.
In fact, Gowe had begun to find evidence that her mother's "relationship" with "Frank" had morphed over time. Hundreds of emails show how "Frank" manipulated her, coaxing her into wiring funds to a fake company called Goose Investments. In total she sent $1.5 million.
Initially, their emails had all the language of love. Him telling her he would "never stop loving you." Her replying: "This is love! Blind trust! Yes, I am the woman who is trusting you."
But over time, their emails lose the sheen of romance and become more transactional. "Frank" sends emotionless instructions for Kowal to make fake dating profiles on apps like Match.com and Christian Mingle, to open multiple new bank accounts, set up false companies, and eventually, as her savings dwindled, to mortgage her home.
As the nearly two-year relationship went on, Kowal started to express skepticism. In one exchange in May 2019, she emailed him saying she was "struggling."
"You, and these strangers, are clearly finding out more about me than I know about you through this process," she wrote, her suspicion rising.
The longer the scheme went on, Gowe found that the trail became confusing, with more and more conversations taken offline. She believes her mother began receiving threats.
"I believe there were threats behind it, or maybe this was her way of recouping the money that she had given them," Gowe says. "It just really saddens me that it got to that point that ultimately she was participating in illegal behaviors, right? And I believe that she was doing that because she felt like she had to. There was no other choice."
A body in the Mississippi River
On Aug. 9, 2020, a car belonging to Kowal was found abandoned on a boat ramp in a rugged river town in Southern Illinois, over three hours away from Galena. Despite no clear evidence of foul play, the discovery raised suspicions.
Sheriff David Parrish of Lewis County Missouri informed CBS News that investigators on the scene were trying to determine if there was more to the situation than just a recovery. After thorough investigation, primarily conducted by the Marine Division of the Highway Patrol, it was concluded to be a recovery operation.
Analysis of Kowal's phone records indicated that her phone was powered off in the hours leading up to her death. Her final message to her friend Kathy was, "All is good."
Despite an inconclusive autopsy that cited drowning as the cause of death, no further details were provided regarding how she ended up in the river. Authorities initially speculated that Kowal's death was a result of suicide.
Following the discovery of her mother, Gowe has been grappling with the mysteries surrounding the case. Who was she conversing with on the phone before leaving home? How did her car end up parked on a boat ramp hundreds of miles away? If she did take her own life, why choose a method that would make it difficult to find her? And what about the enigmatic note - not left out in the open but hidden in a drawer - foretelling her demise?
"I have never shied away from the possibility of [a suicide verdict]," Gowe stated. "It's not because I want to accept that. There would be a sense of closure if we could establish that my mother took her own life. ... But do I believe that they have been actively seeking evidence beyond suicide in the investigation? No."
Authorities have been unable to confirm if Kowal was communicating with someone while on her drive. They discovered packaging for a disposable phone in her residence, but the actual device was missing. Her Honda Pilot was not equipped with modern technology that would allow them to track her route through the vehicle's systems. The last signal from her cellphone was near a river crossing in Sabula, Iowa, 40 minutes to the south.
Gowe and her mother's close companions have taken it upon themselves to search for answers, retracing her likely route, gathering surveillance footage from that day in hopes of uncovering proof that Kowal was not alone. Thus far, she has followed numerous leads but found little in the way of answers.
An investigation into the identity of "Frank" has revealed that the photos used were actually stolen from a doctor in Chile, and the emails originated in Ghana.
Upon notification by federal law enforcement, Match Group promptly removed the fraudulent account. However, the duration of time the profile was active on their site and the number of individuals who matched with Frank remains undisclosed.
Following her mother's experience, Gowe has left her job to advocate for victims of romance scams. She recently spoke at a women's group in Iowa, emphasizing the need for financial institutions and law enforcement to enhance protection for victims.
"I feel a responsibility to share my mother's story and raise awareness about romance scamming to prevent others from falling victim to this crime," Gowe stated.
If you or someone you know has been impacted by a romance scam, please reach out to us at [email protected]
