There was no way Mark and Jan Lawrance could have known what life would hold for their adorable twins, Will and Joe.
"You couldn't tell one from the other," said Mark. "Joe and Will. Who's Joe? Who's Will? So, they just very quickly became 'JoeWill.'
No way to know what was coming, and perhaps no way to go on if they had.
Jan said, "These guys weren't just close; there was almost an interconnectedness. When they were little, if Will fell, Joe cried harder than Will did."
In high school the boys discovered art. Their teachers, Basil Smotherman and Vicki Ayres, were stunned by the way they expressed their individuality, while also remaining tightly connected to each other.
"They were living, breathing and drinking [art]," said Smotherman.
Ayres said, "I would walk in on them working and they'd be looking at each other's work, but they were not saying a word. And I remember joking with them once: 'Are you talking telepathically?'"
Their senior self-portraits – Will's, a teenage boy with spikey hair and pimples; and Joe's, made from thousands of magazine fragments – left no doubt the twins were special.
Smotherman commented, "It's not typical to see this level of work from a high school student."
Following their high school graduation, Joe relocated to New York City to pursue studies at the Cooper Union, while Will attended the Art Institute of Chicago. Their parents did not anticipate any issues arising when the time came for the twins to go their separate ways. "We just assumed they would establish their own identities and build their own individual worlds," mentioned Jan.
However, by the fall of 2004, it became evident that these worlds were fraught with turmoil. Joe's roommate reached out to the Lawrance family to inform them that Joe had made an attempt on his own life.
Mark and Jan, who had observed their sons' deep connection since birth, understood that what affected one would also impact the other.
Jan mentioned that they believed they should keep a close watch on Will, "but Will adamantly refused and said, 'I would never do that. I would never do that!'"
Despite their efforts, both Joe and Will were battling depression. Mark and Jan tried everything to help. Joe made another unsuccessful attempt on his life in 2006. Five years later, Will tragically succeeded in ending his own life at the age of 26.
Jan remembered the moment a police officer and a chaplain arrived at their doorstep: "And Mark was there with them, and he said, 'It's Will. He died.' And I collapsed to the brick entry and just started screaming."
Joe's response? "He said, 'Oh, I knew he died. The second he died, I knew it,'" Jan recounted.
Joe expressed feeling like a part of him had died.
In 2017, six years after Will's passing, authorities were once again at the Lawrances' front door. Mark already had a sense of what had happened: "Yeah, I just said to them, I said: 'It's our son, isn't it?'"
Joe was 32.
Axelrod commented, "The extent of the devastation you both must have experienced is beyond comprehension."
Jan shared, "It truly is the very beginning. You feel like: I wonder how come my arms are so heavy? I mean, you don't even feel [you] can lift up the glass of water."
"Half a dozen years later, how are you coping with your grief?" Axelrod inquired.
"You move forward, then you regress," Jan responded. "The thing is, you're shattered in a million pieces and then you rebuild your wholeness. You're not gonna ever be the same."
Part of the Lawrances' healing was found in their sons' work. They'd been prodigious: sketches, sculptures, paintings. Hundreds and hundreds of pieces, stored in closets, under beds. "Stuff keeps surfacing that you think, wow, I thought I'd found it all," Jan said. "It's like we always go: Hi Joe, Hi Will. When you know something happens, we call them God winks, or little winks. So, we get winks all the time."
The Lawrances felt those winks had power in them – power they wanted others to feel. Last April, an exhibit opened at the Indianapolis Art Center: "JoeWill: Better Together."
Short videos told their story, and spread awareness about depression.
More than 100 of JoeWill's works were curated by exhibitions manager Alex Moore. "If you walk into a space digesting certain struggles of your own, and you see those reflected in the objects, it's validating," Moore said. "It tells you that you're not alone. It tells you that your experience is human."
Mark and Jan found enormous comfort there. "The boys are here," said Jan. "They're filling the halls. They're talking to us."
They said it was therapeutic to visit with them again. "It was beautiful," Jan said. "We went almost every day for the two months. I mean, I feel like I was not even walking on the ground. I felt elevated, not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically. I thought: Am I levitated?"
"It was pure joy," said Mark.
In a touching tribute to their sons, the Lawrances decided to honor their memory by spreading some of their ashes in front of a sculpture named "Confluence" at the art center. Originally planned as a limited exhibit, JoeWill's artwork will now have a permanent gallery to showcase their talent.
Even in death, the Lawrance brothers will continue to inspire and educate through their art. When asked why she chose to share their story, Jan expressed her desire to focus on celebrating their accomplishments and the legacy they left behind, rather than dwelling on their tragic passing.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, you can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You can also chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline here.
For more info:
- "JoeWill: Better Together"
- "The Artistic Journey of Joe and Will Lawrance"
- Indy Art Center, Indianapolis
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Story produced by Jay Kernis. Editor: Lauren Barnello.
