Parenting is a series of sacrifices: financial, physical and emotional. Do you know how many horrible kids' movies I've seen? In the theater? Way too many!
I've voluntarily driven to the theater, bought multiple tickets, and sat through absolute garbage. Objectively bad movies. I didn't need to read a review. I didn't need to watch a trailer. I knew. Nobody asks themselves, "I wonder if 'The Smurfs' is any good?" It's not. They tried to warn us by calling it "The Smurfs."
I have five children. That means I've been sitting through horrible kids' movies for 15 years. A decade-and-a-half of torture. The hardest part? The self-censorship. After suffering through a movie like "My Pretty Pony," any sentient being would need to turn to someone and say, "Well, that was painful!" But you can't say that to an 8-year-old. So, you just smile and go, "Hey, what did you think? Yeah, I hope they make another one, too!"
I understand not all dads would make this sacrifice. My father would never have sat through a horrible kids' movie.
When I was younger, my dad had a unique way of taking us to the movies. Instead of asking us what movie we wanted to see, he would surprise us with a trip to the theater. We didn't know what movie we were going to watch, and neither did he. As soon as we arrived, he would quickly choose a movie, buy tickets, and we would walk in immediately. The starting time didn't matter to us; that was the beginning of the movie for us.
Often, we would end up watching the last half of the movie. When the lights came on and the audience left, we would stay seated, trying to piece together the plotline. We would speculate with each other about how the movie might have started. Eventually, a new audience would come in, the movie would restart, and we would watch from the point we had entered. Then, my dad would simply stand up and leave, and we would follow him out.
This was how we experienced movies when we were growing up, which might explain why I find poorly made children's movies so frustrating and predictable.
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Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Joseph Frandino.
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